Forgiveness Part 2: What it is....
What is forgiveness about? It is about healing, learning, loving and growing. We all make mistakes at one time or another. Mistakes are how we learn and grow. Most mistakes are just that mistakes; errors, miscalculations not thinking something completely through. Then there are intentional acts that cause harm due to anger, frustration or possibly an attitude of entitlement. Some mistakes are minor others not so much. In any case, forgiveness is one of the first steps to healing and moving on. Forgiveness comes from within the soul and is for everyone to have.
Ty Ty Trolling it.... |
Children for the most part make mistakes because they are
exploring and learning. I do not believe at any time children are born to be
bad. They purely and simply become a product of their environment. A child who
is raised with praise, encouragement and empowered to exercise control over
themselves and are taught that is the only true power and control they have, will
no doubt be a good person to others. A child raised in an environment with abuse,
that is controlling and/or neglected learns to abuse, be abused or will neglect.
We learn what we live, but that is not to say we cannot retrain our brains
eventually. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake that is what it is. An opportunity
for those of us who know better to work with them to make better choices.
We all know adults make mistakes too; I know I do, probably
daily, but who’s counting. What can I say, some of us are still learning. That
being said, when I make a mistake and someone else has been harmed by it or
not, I have no issue acknowledging and apologizing for my role. Why, because I
never do anything to hurt anyone or anything intentionally, therefore I am not
embarrassed at what happened. I am remorseful, but not ashamed. I don’t like
that it happened, but at the same time I did not mean for it to go sideways. I
cannot undo what has been done, but I can modify things so it does not happen
again. Next, I will ask forgiveness of the person I harmed. Regardless of
their answer, I need to forgive myself and move on. Start anew with or without
them.
Kaity's Way at March for Our Lives |
There are somethings that some people think forgiveness can
never be granted. As far as I am concerned, this is not true. I believe my family
has been wronged in the worst possible way, yet most of us have forgiven the
perpetrator even though he no longer lives. How and why you may ask? We have
hope and faith and know we must carry on until our calling. To carry on with
hatred and an unforgiving heart is a really rough miserable road to take. Since
we have a choice I have chosen to forgive him. Had I not, I am pretty sure
Kaity’s Way would not exist in it’s good standing. That alone is reason enough
to forgive. In the ten years Kaity’s Way has been in existence we have brought
awareness to teen dating violence and promoted healthy relationships to over
85,000 people. In addition, Kaity’s Law may still be going through the
legislative route for passage.
Now let’s talk about my well-being. I know first-hand
how it is to walk around angry and full of hatred. About 30 years ago I started
to learn that it is time to flip the script and break the cycle for me and
mine. Forgiveness was and remains a big part of my healing
journey. I asked forgiveness from others and forgave others. Some never even asked, but I still forgave them. No doubt the most
difficult thing for me to learn was how to forgive myself. Yea, I wallowed and hung
on to the guilt, but eventually learned how to let it go and forgive me.
Okay another area of Forgiveness down and more to go. Until
then Have a Great Week and Take Care!
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