Forgiveness Part 2: What it is....



What is forgiveness about? It is about healing, learning, loving and growing. We all make mistakes at one time or another. Mistakes are how we learn and grow. Most mistakes are just that mistakes; errors, miscalculations not thinking something completely through. Then there are intentional acts that cause harm due to anger, frustration or possibly an attitude of entitlement. Some mistakes are minor others not so much. In any case, forgiveness is one of the first steps to healing and moving on. Forgiveness comes from within the soul and is for everyone to have.

Ty Ty Trolling it....
Children for the most part make mistakes because they are exploring and learning. I do not believe at any time children are born to be bad. They purely and simply become a product of their environment. A child who is raised with praise, encouragement and empowered to exercise control over themselves and are taught that is the only true power and control they have, will no doubt be a good person to others. A child raised in an environment with abuse, that is controlling and/or neglected learns to abuse, be abused or will neglect. We learn what we live, but that is not to say we cannot retrain our brains eventually. Therefore, when a child makes a mistake that is what it is. An opportunity for those of us who know better to work with them to make better choices.

We all know adults make mistakes too; I know I do, probably daily, but who’s counting. What can I say, some of us are still learning. That being said, when I make a mistake and someone else has been harmed by it or not, I have no issue acknowledging and apologizing for my role. Why, because I never do anything to hurt anyone or anything intentionally, therefore I am not embarrassed at what happened. I am remorseful, but not ashamed. I don’t like that it happened, but at the same time I did not mean for it to go sideways. I cannot undo what has been done, but I can modify things so it does not happen again. Next, I will ask forgiveness of the person I harmed. Regardless of their answer, I need to forgive myself and move on. Start anew with or without them.

Kaity's Way at March for Our Lives
There are somethings that some people think forgiveness can never be granted. As far as I am concerned, this is not true. I believe my family has been wronged in the worst possible way, yet most of us have forgiven the perpetrator even though he no longer lives. How and why you may ask? We have hope and faith and know we must carry on until our calling. To carry on with hatred and an unforgiving heart is a really rough miserable road to take. Since we have a choice I have chosen to forgive him. Had I not, I am pretty sure Kaity’s Way would not exist in it’s good standing. That alone is reason enough to forgive. In the ten years Kaity’s Way has been in existence we have brought awareness to teen dating violence and promoted healthy relationships to over 85,000 people. In addition, Kaity’s Law may still be going through the legislative route for passage. 

Now let’s talk about my well-being. I know first-hand how it is to walk around angry and full of hatred. About 30 years ago I started to learn that it is time to flip the script and break the cycle for me and mine. Forgiveness was and remains a big part of my healing journey. I asked forgiveness from others and forgave others. Some never even asked, but I still forgave them. No doubt the most difficult thing for me to learn was how to forgive myself. Yea, I wallowed and hung on to the guilt, but eventually learned how to let it go and forgive me.

Okay another area of Forgiveness down and more to go. Until then Have a Great Week and Take Care!

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