Bookin' It With Bobbi

Click here for Audio Enabling in my humble opinion is when someone has crossed the line from helping to hurting. Initially enabling is disguised as helping until the one that has been enabled moves from being appreciative for the help to expecting the help to fix any and all situations for them. For instance, a rather healthy elderly couple is having a Will drawn up and they are not sure about leaving their $5 million dollar estate to their only child, who is now a thirty something adult. Their concern is that the child has been irresponsible when it comes to finances. Forever creating debt, filing bankruptcy for a bail out and repeating the same mistakes. The elderly couple is torn and you can tell they really want a reason why they should give the money to their child. To give someone that is financially irresponsible $5 million dollars would hurt them more than anything. Some may disagree, but if you really care about that person you wouldn’t do that to them. The elde

Click here for Audio Self care is a matter of taking time to care for yourself. So, how do we do this? How do we determine what we need when we need it? All good questions and quite honestly there is no one right answer except it depends. It depends on who we are and what toots our horn. What do we enjoy and makes us truly feel  good organically. What do I mean by organic, some may ask. Organic in this respect is without the help of any substances such as alcohol. For some this takes some serious thought. I know I had to think long and hard about it. I began to figure this out when I was fighting for my life with breast cancer. I had realized I wanted to live and live I would. Now that I have decided I am going to live, how do I do that and enjoy it. It was no longer enough to exist or just survive. I am going to live and this put me on the path to thriving. Part of thriving is performing self-care. It is not selfish at all to take care of oneself. As a matter of fact, i

Click here for Audio There are two ways a parent is born. The first, by giving birth to a beautiful blessing. The second is by coming into the life of a beautiful blessing and the child calling you mom or dad just because they want to. Ric and I fell into both categories when we began our relationship in 1992. We both came to the relationship with children from a previous marriage and eventually had one child together. Thus, creating a blended family unit, which is very common in this day and age. We had come together like the Sonoran and Mohave Deserts, cradling a beautiful blend of Joshua Trees and Saguaro Cacti in our arms. Yvonne, RJ, Daniel, Kaity, and Virginia were our beautiful blessings. As our relationship developed we agreed that the children and their needs took priority over all else. Therefore, as much as we were committed to each other we extended that commitment without hesitation to always keeping in mind what was best for the children. We gave our children enc

Click here for Audio Ego is something, as of late, that I recently realized I have misunderstood or taken out of context. What I have been referring to more so, is egotistical. Ego, by definition, is not a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, I promote it daily. Although, there is a fine line between Ego and Egotistical. According to a couple of different sources the definition is: Oxford dictionary: Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. Cambridge dictionary: Ego is your idea or opinion of yourself, especially your feeling of your own importance and ability. Collins dictionary: Ego is a sense of ones own worth. Freud said   the conscious (as opposed to the unconscious) mind, or the awareness of one's own identity and existence. So how can Ego be a bad thing? Counselors, Psychologists, Psychiatrist, Social Workers and advocates work with people daily to understand and build their self-worth. They help them realize they are go

Click here for Audio Children, whether they admit it or not, want guidance from those they love. To take the time to guide the children in our lives is an act of love. It is felt subliminally and gives the children a sense of trust and boosts their self-esteem. When I think about the adults that stepped up in my life and gave me the guidance I craved, I am so appreciative and cannot thank them enough. I would say my Nana, aunt Janie and fraternal grandmother were the first of those adults to step up for me. The next person I can remember was a neighbor down the street, her name was Betty. Then when I was sixteen and got a job at the local grocery store, there was a woman named Lola that I worked with. She was like a philosopher, very wise. Then there were the people that I worked with in the Pharmacy, Susie, Susan, Alice, Arnold and Paul. By this time, I was considered an adult, but my pre-frontal cortex was not formed yet, so I still needed help sorting things out. Espe