Ego: Fine Line Part I

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Ego is something, as of late, that I recently realized I have misunderstood or taken out of context. What I have been referring to more so, is egotistical. Ego, by definition, is not a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, I promote it daily. Although, there is a fine line between Ego and Egotistical. According to a couple of different sources the definition is:

Oxford dictionary: Ego is a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

Cambridge dictionary: Ego is your idea or opinion of yourself, especially your feeling of your own importance and ability.

Collins dictionary: Ego is a sense of ones own worth.

Freud said the conscious (as opposed to the unconscious) mind, or the awareness of one's own identity and existence.

So how can Ego be a bad thing? Counselors, Psychologists, Psychiatrist, Social Workers and advocates work with people daily to understand and build their self-worth. They help them realize they are good and deserve to be respected and treated with kindness and honesty.

Digging deeper and looking at the definition of Egotistical I realized, there is a fine line between Ego and Egotistical.

Egotistical is when you don't have the competence and experience to back up your confidence.

Oxford Dictionary: Egotistical is to be excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.

Cambridge dictionary: Egotistical is the tendency to think only about yourself and consider yourself better and more important than other people. 

Collins dictionary: Egotistical is someone who behaves selfishly and thinks they are more important than other people.

Okay so now that I have re-educated myself, Ego is what makes us, US. So what happens to push someone towards Egoism, Egotistic or become Egotistical? Not sure about you, but that seems to be a very complex dynamic that can come from so many directions.

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Keeping it simple, given the definitions of Ego vs. Egotistical, self esteem or the lack of can play a HUGE part in crossing that fine line. Self esteem is something else that comes at us from several directions as well. 

A child raised in a negative and non-supportive environment will no doubt struggle in the self esteem area. Some will fade into the background others will bust through to rebel the nay sayers. Some start out in the background, but later bust out. I believe that is the road I traveled at one time. It’s like we swing from one side all the way to the other extreme. It was such a relief to eventually land in the middle, but it took kind, patient and honest people to help me get here. I also had to be ready to hear their suggestions and take them to heart. Yet, until you get here you haven’t a clue what a great place it is. There is balance and it is a relief to realize the only control you have and are responsible for is over yourself.

Coming to that conclusion took a huge weight off my shoulders. I no longer had to accept responsibility for things going sideways when I didn’t cause the problem. It was not always my fault when things didn’t go right. I am not to blame for all the worlds problems or the problems of those around me. I do not have to fix the problems of others, nor can I. I can help if allowed, but it is not my place to insist they let me help.

So in the interest of Keeping it Simple (KiS), I am going to declare this as part 1 of I am not sure how many, given the complexity of ego vs egotistical and self-esteem. If you have any particular area of this you would like me to tackle first by all means leave a comment and I’ll be in touch. Until then, have a wonderful week and remember to Keep it Simple (KiS).