Children: Looking for Guidance

Click here for Audio

Children, whether they admit it or not, want guidance from those they love. To take the time to guide the children in our lives is an act of love. It is felt subliminally and gives the children a sense of trust and boosts their self-esteem. When I think about the adults that stepped up in my life and gave me the guidance I craved, I am so appreciative and cannot thank them enough.

I would say my Nana, aunt Janie and fraternal grandmother were

the first of those adults to step up for me. The next person I can remember was a neighbor down the street, her name was Betty. Then when I was sixteen and got a job at the local grocery store, there was a woman named Lola that I worked with. She was like a philosopher, very wise. Then there were the people that I worked with in the Pharmacy, Susie, Susan, Alice, Arnold and Paul. By this time, I was considered an adult, but my pre-frontal cortex was not formed yet, so I still needed help sorting things out. Especially, because by this time, I had left a very unhealthy marriage and had two children to guide and support. My self-esteem was non-existence, yet I had to carry on for the sake of my children.

Yes, our brains are not fully developed until an average age of twenty-five. I am sure that explains a lot for many of you as you look back and wonder about why you did what you did. I remember when I turned twenty-five very vividly. It was like a switch was flipped. My mind opened, and I was suddenly contemplating what was next. Prior to that I totally flew by the seat of my pants and thank goodness I had no issue talking to people about how things were going. Had I not, I would probably have just flailed about. My talking things out with others, helped me gain the assistance I needed.

Now speaking from experience if a child cannot get what they need from the ones they initially love they will find others to love, to provide them the guidance they crave. The sad thing is, it is a crap shoot. I was fortunate and believe I had someone or something watching out for me. While I did get myself into some pickles, for the most part I came across decent people to love that loved and guided me in the right way. The times I got myself into pickles, I was entertaining individuals that did not have my best interest at heart. It was all about them and their needs. A child looking for love and guidance will settle for what they can get. For a child, attention, positive or negative, is better than no attention at all.

I educate children, starting at age twelve, about healthy relationships.  When we drop this knowledge, often times we are reinforcing what they are being taught at home and elsewhere. Other times we are capturing those children that are not getting the proper guidance and are craving some direction. I have no issues intervening on behalf of a child and possibly helping them break a cycle of negativity.

Not the most appealing subject, yet the children I work with love it. We get more positive feedback on the knowledge we provide for them than I ever thought was possible. I get hugs and words of encouragement from the children on a regular basis. They truly appreciate that we are willing to spend time with them, sharing knowledge that could potentially help them in all aspects of their lives.

Bottom line, we bring them into this world, it is our duty to take care of them and exercise our due diligence and guide them to be the best people they can be. For those adults out there who feel lost or need some guidance do yourself a favor and open your mind. Help is out there, you just need to start asking around. I can give you some direction, all you need to do is ask. Asking for help is a courageous step in the right direction for your sake and the sake of others.

Until next time Keep it Simple (KiS) and take care!