Going With The Flow.....GWtF
A popular term used often to describe one’s existence,
“going
with the flow,” or how someone deals with life or to possibly calm someone down by suggesting they relax and “go
with the flow.” Which in the later timing is everything. Suggest it too soon
and you may experience a wrath. Wait too long and it will likely no longer be a
tool to calm because the moment has passed. Either way, it is a great concept and
if more people were to go with the flow, my guess is we would feel a lot less
stress, self-doubt and frustration.
Although, be careful because less stress and frustration may lead to peace, laughter, happiness and a sense of security in one’s self. Okay, so I am being a bit of a smart ass with that last statement, but it is true.
Although, be careful because less stress and frustration may lead to peace, laughter, happiness and a sense of security in one’s self. Okay, so I am being a bit of a smart ass with that last statement, but it is true.
Why would anyone not
go with the flow?
Before we go there let's look at what the opposite would be: swimming upstream (SU), going against
the current or grain, forcing a square peg into a round hole. Any way you look
at it these terms speak of chaos, friction, unnecessary pressure, stress and
frustration. Yet, so many will choose the path of resistance; kind of like, no pain no gain. Is it because they feel
as if they don’t have a choice? Oh, but they do.…. Is it a matter of they don’t
like the options before them; lack the ability to see the bigger picture. Maybe
it is a fear of disappointing someone they love. Maybe it is a matter of they have
come this far, may as well carry on. As
if now it is going to be done despite anything, because now it is a matter of principle?
I would say in that case it is more of an issue of stubbornness, not to be confused
with determination.
Someone raised in an environment of negative chaos will have
self-doubt and will more than likely struggle with GWtF. Part of it has to do
with the inability to decide for fear of making the wrong decision and possibly
disappointing others. Often times, they won’t make the decision and/or make a
snap decision feeling pressured. Could be, they feel a wrong decision is going
to bring their whole world crashing down.
Maybe it is about control or the lack of understanding the true
concept of control. Which is: The only true power and control anyone of us has
is over ourselves and ourselves only. Everything I say and do is the only true
power and control I have. Each time I do or say something the actions or words
are of my choosing. No one else is responsible in anyway for anything I say and
do. Yet, by the same token no one gets to dictate to me what I must say and do.
They can make suggestions, but I get to decide how I am going react or if I want
to react. People that have a misconception of control SU constantly, because
they are fooling themselves and others through intimidation or manipulation. This
was the issue in my family. They thought and some still think they had/have control beyond themselves and
tried to convince us of the same. As children we didn’t know any better, but as
an adult, I realized trying to control anyone beyond myself was futile and
ridiculous.
Here is the concept of GWtF as I see it….. Stuff happens as it
will, all I must do is make the best decision based on the information I have gathered and consider what is right for all parties concerned. Most particularly when children are involved, I will always ask what is in the best interest of the child. Going from there I make the
decision and own it. If it turns out unfavorably, well that just means I need
to look at things differently and make the appropriate corrections. If the
outcome is favorable, then I am on to the next adventure. Either way, things
fall into place as they will and should. The question is are you going to Swim Upstream or
Go With the Flow?
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