Judgement Part I: Why, instead of compassion and empathy?

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Yea, this is a topic that can boil a decent persons blood. To be clear

there is a time for judgement, but not by just anyone at anytime. The time is when a crime has been committed and the alleged criminal is brought before a judge or a jury of their peers. They have an opportunity to defend themselves how they see fit. Then the judge or jury can make an informed decision based on the evidence brought before them. Not a perfect system by far, but it is the earthly process and in my humble eyes the only time judging another is acceptable.

So why do so many people think it is okay to judge another person?

Seriously, to all those that think it is okay to judge another person, remember you are no more perfect than they are. If you think you are you are deluding yourself and should probably stop reading this blog now.  

It is certainly okay to disagree with others, but to take that disagreement and judge another or talk smack behind their back is no okay on any level. If someone disagrees with something I did or said, I am happy to have the conversation with them if I so choose. I am not obligated to explain myself to anyone, it’s not personal, just my right. Yet, so many will cower to passing judgement or talking about me when I am not around to defend myself, which is highly unfair and very disappointing, especially if the person was someone you trusted or considered a friend.

It cracks me up that people are so quick to pass judgement on scenarios or situations they hear on the news, social media or in passing, when they don’t have all the facts. My husband and I were on the end of that awhile back when our 17-year-old daughter Kaity was murdered by her 17-year-old ex-boyfriend. People were quick to say, “where were her parents?” “Why didn’t they protect her?” so on and so forth. I understand people get very passionate when it comes to a child being harmed or killed but come on people. How about a little compassion instead of judgement? Maybe try to empathize rather than being critical. We had lost a child for crying out loud and if those people thought for a second that is what we wanted to happen they are very sadly mistaken!!!! We were devastated to say the least, and for the record we did everything legally within our power to protect our daughter. Sometimes when I am sharing information about Kaity’s Way or Kaity’s story people will say, “well that is why I have a gun” or they want to lay their words of wisdom on us of what we should have done. I just look at them and wonder who they hell do they think they are? A clairvoyant, medium, psycic? Don’t you think if I could have predicted what was going to happen I would have done everything in my power to avoid it? I choose to believe most parents would. So, if most parents would, why does society lead with judgement rather than compassion or empathy?

Here is the kicker, people that have seen a Kaity’s Way presentation or attended a workshop understand we did everything in our power to avoid the horrible outcome. That is because they now know the story. One lady even told me that she did judge us in the ways mentioned above, but learned she was wrong and in the future would try to stop judging without all the facts. That is when I realized through Kaity’s Way we are doing more than just bringing awareness to the issue of teen dating violence and promoting healthy relationships.