Self Care: Part I - A must for everyone!

“Destroy the idea that you have to be constantly working or grinding in order to be successful. Embrace the concept that rest, recovery, reflection are essential parts of the progress towards a successful and happy life.”
–Zach Galifianakis


Think about it, if you are not feeling well or are often tired, how much do you really have to give to others. Isn’t it crazy how we will just trudge on through without a second thought for ourselves. So many of us will go to the end of the world for those we love and care about, but when it comes to doing for ourselves we struggle with the concept.

Why o why o why do we do that?
  • Is there some conditioning that has happened to us?
  • Were we told it was selfish to put yourself first?
  • Were we made to feel selfish for doing something for ourselves?
  • Are we trying to fulfill the expectations of society?
  • Is it because it makes us feel good to help others?


Kind of like a cycle, you don’t feel well, so you help someone else, to feel better. The problem is in this case, the better feeling is temporary, hence a cycle is formed, and you do not get the help YOU need to truly feel better. It would be much better if you helped yourself. Allowed yourself to take care of yourself. 
So how do we take care of ourselves. The first step is to acknowledge that you need to focus on yourself. You are worthly! Realize you are precious and needed by others. We are all here for a reason. We have a purpose. Some have learned that purpose, others are still looking. For instance, my father who is seventy-six years old, he believes he is still looking for his purpose in life. I on the other hand believe I have found my purposes and I am still serving them. Yea, I think throughout our lifetime we can have one or several purposes. I believe that I have a lot to offer ME, the people I love and the community. Notice how I put ME first… This is because I have learned that is the correct order of priority. ME being able to offer a lot to the people I love and the community is contingent on ME taking care of MYSELF. I personally want to be in tip top shape to do my best. I know my best is not going to be the same each day, but I can only be my best if I take care of ME.

I think the thing I struggled with and still at times will struggle with is feelings of guilt. How can I put my needs before others? That question alone is a thought process that I had to retrain my brain about. If I’m gonna feel guilty, it should be more so that I feel guilty for not taking better care of myself because the care I am giving is substandard and could be so much better, if I just took better care of myself. Then there is self-esteem, which most of us struggle with at one time or another, the lack of. If your self-worth is wrapped around others, that is a problem. What others think of you does not matter. What matters is what you think of yourself. It does not matter what others say about you, it is none of your business. What matters is what you are telling yourself. Some people need to be needed. They are lovely people, but if you don’t need them, they don’t have time for you. They are looking for the next person that needs them. Their self-worth is based on another needing them. What happens when the needing to be needed, has needs?

What got me past all that…. Positive affirmations and have your heard of the FourAgreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? It is a wonderful and enlightening book that will help bring you to self-love, happiness and freedom from limited beliefs. The four agreements Mr. Ruiz speaks of are:
  • Be impeccable with your words
  • Don’t assume anything
  • Don’t take things personal
  • Always do your best
The book drills down in each area for a clear understanding and really helps to bring you back to the basics. I have included a link to the book above. With regards to the positive affirmations, they do work, you just have to give it time, believe and have faith. You are your thoughts. If you think positive of yourself, your going to gain a good level of self-confidence. Negative thoughts will only take your self-confidence away. A positive affirmation that I use and seems to cover it for me is:

 “I AM A BEAUTIFUL LOVING CARING PERSON AND I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND LOVED!” 

Say that to yourself several times a day and you will come to believe it.

There are several aspects to self care making it a topic that is so important that I am going to do a series of blogs on it. To limit discussion around this would be a disservice to all of us because our well being is that important. Have a wonderful week! From Surviving the Thriving!

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