Love Part VI: Self Empathy


Empathy is a necessary element in a relationship. It is a matter of trying to understand and/or respect the feelings of another. We can empathize with ourselves by checking in with ourselves every now and then. Throughout the day, ask yourself how you are feeling. If the feeling is good and happy, then go with it and allow yourself to savor the moment. Sometimes I like to back track to see what brought me to that happy place. Doing so helps me create a thought process that I can go to when I need to change how I am feeling to a better place. When I check in with myself and the feeling is wonky or not so good, I will do some positive self talk and work on feeling better. Maybe pull in that happy place though process or just smile for a minute. I also always try to remember that everything happens for a reason. This gives me some understanding and helps me look at things optimistically. Keeping in mind the glass is always refillable.

We need to keep in mind that our feelings are valid, because they are our feelings. Feelings can be based on instinct, past experiences and ones personality. Our feelings are our responsibility as well as how we react or address anything or anyone based on our feelings. Say for instance someone says something that hurts my feelings or offends me. Depending on the circumstances there are several ways I can handle it. Overall, the best thing I can do for me is handle the situation in such a way that I walk away in peace or feeling better to some degree. Meaning I am feeling better and/or I have not hurt anyone.

I believe mindset has a lot to do with feelings getting hurt or being offended. Mostly because people tend to personalize things and/or make assumptions. I am not offended very often because I don’t take the negative things people say and do personal. When I encounter a negative person my first thought is they’ve got something going on that has nothing to do with me, so I am not going to be drawn into their world. At that point I can either disagree with them and offer them a little food for thought or move along; it depends really depends on my current situation and the circumstances.

In addition, I try not to make assumptions about anyone or situation. If I don’t know and want to know, I need to ask. To sit around a speculate or make assumptions is silly, especially if you just ask you may know. If I ask and the person doesn’t want to share then it is none of my business and I need to drop it and move on. Yet, me asking is taking the high road for myself and the other person. It gives me the opportunity to try for the sake of my own feelings and often times asking helps the other person express themselves and can show you care.


Keeping my mindset positive and always trying to see the silver lining helps me protect my feelings. I also do believe that everyone has and is entitled to their opinions about one thing or another. If I don’t want to hear someone’s opinion I don’t have to listen, I can walk away or scroll right on by. If someone I care about is going down a rabbit hole I may say something to give food for thought, but what they choose to do with it is ultimately up to them. If I don’t know the person and they do not interest me, I won’t give them a moment of my precious time. This is me knowing my limits and empathizing with me and my feelings; I am relating to and protecting my feelings, because I need to be my best advocate.



Empathizing with ourselves requires us to be patient with ourselves at times. We are triggered daily by anyone of our senses. If the trigger is of a negative nature, it is important that we take the time to work through the trigger. In most cases it is not going to be detrimental to take a moment to step back and breath or re-center yourself. I have found in doing so, I have saved myself a lot of grief and either averted or deescalated uncomfortable situations at times.


Bottom line: my self worth depends on me having a healthy relationship with myself and part of that is empathizing with myself and tuning into my feelings regularly throughout the day. With that I am going to close this blog and wish you a great week and remember until next time to Keep it Simple (KiS).

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