Love VII: Self Love: Acceptance: Vulnerability: Expanding Your World

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This post was written by Ms. MaKayla Kellor. She is a brilliant young woman that is Expanding her world in just one more way. I appreciate her ability to put herself out there. She knew there was no harm in asking and she did. She did not fear rejection. She knew the worst I could do was say no, so she took the chance. I did not know MaKayla, but since she asked, I wanted to see what she could do. I asked her to read through my blogs so she could get a feel for what Bookin It With Bobbi is all about and send me something. Well here it is, and I have to say I am impressed. I hope you share my appreciation for MaKayla's courage and perseverance. She speaks some serious truth here. 

Be Your Authentic Self!

Vulnerability is an act many of us are afraid of. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you are allowing yourself to be fully known. Society has taught us that being fully known is not appropriate, though; you should hide the emotional parts of you, the struggles you have been through and any part of you that is slightly less than clean and sparkly.

You may have experienced vulnerability by default. Maybe in a relationship, when things got serious, the secrets had to come out eventually. Or something happened that exposed those dark and hidden parts of you to others. I experienced vulnerability by default once, and it was less than ideal. I was in my freshman year of college, I had made it years without anyone knowing how badly I was hurting inside, just how sad my soul was. In fact, if you asked anyone who knew me, I was the light of the room, always smiling, energetic, and excited about life – until I wasn’t. One Friday afternoon in February, the smiles just wouldn’t come and I overdosed, something nobody would have expected, even I couldn’t have imagined myself in that situation despite knowing the darkest parts of myself. And then my secret was out, everyone knew and instead of being vulnerable on my own, I was forced into vulnerability, talking about parts of me I had never exposed before.

This scenario, like the one I described above, is not a beautiful vulnerability. When vulnerability is chosen for us, the beauty of choosing to live vulnerably is removed. Very few people consciously choose vulnerability, but those who do, are authentic and true, not just to others, but to themselves as well.

Vulnerability is often equated with rejection. Many people believe that being vulnerability and opening themselves up completely gives people a reason to walk away. And there is that potential, that when you open yourself up to someone, especially the past parts of you, that they misunderstand you. But if your choices are opening up to someone and being rejected for who you really are, or having to hide behind a modified version of yourself, which way do you really want to live? I know I will choose facing rejection before I go back to a modified version of myself again. That by no means makes it easy, and sometimes I do want to hide, and sometimes I actually do, but that allows me to do a double take on the relationships I am pursuing and in, because if someone cannot accept the authentic me, then I don’t want that relationship. That relationship is not real.

Choosing a vulnerable lifestyle is not easy and I know that just as well as you do. But the more you practice, the easier it will get. You will not wake up tomorrow and be able to tell every person you know every part of you, it just doesn’t work like that. With enough practice, just like anything else, you will get better though. You also can’t be vulnerable with others if you are not vulnerable with yourself. Being vulnerable with yourself means that you, too, have to love the parts of yourself that you have tucked away and tried to forget about. Vulnerability with yourself is the most intense form of self-love.

 

When you choose vulnerability, you are creating an immeasurable reward. You are showing up, authentically, acknowledging every part of who you are. Our authentic selves form true connections with ourselves and allow for true connections to be made with others. You are confident in who you are, you love who you are, and you belong, even if there are parts of you that are scary to share. When you allow yourself to live as your truest, vulnerable self, you will attract like-minded individuals who are ready to live bigger with you and intense growth in your life and relationships will start happening. 

Accepting ourselves as we are includes being Vulnerable. Speaking from experience, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is very liberating and relieves you from worrying about things you have no control over. Until next time, remember to Keep it Simple (KiS). Have a wonderful week!