Options: Insist on knowing them….

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When we received the diagnosis that I had breast cancer we were overwhelmed, flabbergasted and down right beside ourselves. To receive such a diagnosis is devastating and it sends you into a world of many unknowns. To say we were scared is an understatement. Not only were we terrified were very vulnerable and clueless. We were numb and for a bit sat in silence. My thoughts were split. On the one hand I was wondering What the F&#k!!!!!!! I wanted to scream, cuss or light something up. The other part of me felt utterly defeated. What more could I deal with? They say God doesn’t give you anymore than you can handle. Well, at that point, I felt like God had gotten me mixed up with someone else, because I was done. I had been through enough over the last couple of years and now this. For crying out loud enough was enough.

We were so blown out of the water that we just went with what we were told in the beginning. I don’t recall being offered an advocate or case manager. Looking back, we needed someone that would explain ALL of our alternatives not just the ones they subscribed to but ALL of them. I personally think the medical administration should be expected to disclose ALL options available to people. Not just what they believe in or subscribe to or can make the most money from.

The only options we were given had to do with radiation and chemotherapy. I do not recall receiving information about nutrition, exercise or natural options. There were no suggestions for books to read or people to talk with. We did receive some brochures and information for the various cancer organizations that provide services or items to make cancer patients more comfortable through the process. Yet, none provided any information about alternatives aside from the types of radiation and/or chemotherapy.

After the initial shock and as I was in the throws of treatment for the breast cancer, I became obsessed with figuring out how I ended up so sick at the age of forty-five. There I was in the prime of my life fighting for my life, instead of enjoying life with my family and friends. The treatment was so brutal that I almost threw in the towel half way through.

I watched a lot of shows that focused on medical care. I searched the internet for answers. Then I came across the book, “Knockout” by Suzanne Somers. I really wished I had known about the alternative options as written about in this book. Oh, my goodness, there are so many options and explanations to why we don’t hear much about the alternative out there. In the back of the book is a list of various alternative providers by state.

The thing is, when you get a diagnosis of a potentially terminal illness, your world is turned upside down and inside out, especially if you are already in a vulnerable state; which we were, given all that happened in the last 20 months of our lives. Without sounding too dramatic, it was very traumatizing during a traumatic time. Hence the need for unbiased Advocates. There are agencies that provide resources to people diagnosed with certain illnesses, but what I have yet to see is those agencies having an Advocates presence in the hospitals. I am sorry, but Advocates that work for hospitals, insurance companies or medical providers, cannot help but be biased. They are going to push their employers agenda simply because that is their job.

Here is something that is not challenged often but should be. A few months ago, my mother was hospitalized for back surgery and recently my grandson was hospitalized for pneumonia. They were treated in two different hospitals, but there were some similarities with regards to treatment and attitudes that warranted the need for someone to be there to advocate for the patient and/or with the patient’s family.

In my mothers’ case, the hospital did have an Advocate on staff, but it was evident she worked for the hospital for the most part and treaded lightly. She became a bit defensive when I brought up to her our frustration with their process and that it was obvious that the right hand did not know what the left hand was doing. The same questions were being asked repeatedly. My goodness don’t they read the charts. This happened in my grandsons’ case also. I understand there are some questions that clarification is needed and the changing of shifts, but for crying out loud, some of the unnecessary questions being asked repeatedly, can be retraumatizing to the patient. Why is that necessary when you could have taken a moment longer to read the damn chart. Being in a hospital is traumatizing enough.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the judgmental attitudes if what is considered standard procedure is challenged. Listen up those of you that treat patients, it is not your place to judge their decisions on medical care. Patients currently have the right to decline treatment and do not owe you an explanation, despite your beliefs. For those out there that have an issue with kids not being vaccinated I have one question for you: If you are so damn sure that vaccines work, then why are you concerned about someone else not being vaccinated? If your vaccine is so right, don’t you have faith that you won’t get sick because you are vaccinated? Or is your upheaval about vaccines based on trying to control what others do with their lives. Ponder that for a moment.

Trying to shame others into following protocol is manipulative and nothing more than a control tactic. In my humble opinion, when a person is seeking help for any issue or concern, those in the field have a duty to inform the person of ALL their options. Whether you believe in them or not, your beliefs concerning that other person are irrelevant. It is their beliefs that count when it comes to them and anyone working with that person needs to respect their decision.

Some are of the belief that control combats chaos. To a certain degree this can be true. That is if the control you are exercising is over yourself. Look around you, there is so much chaos going on daily. Have you watched the news lately or paid attention to what is out there on social media. It stems from a skewed perception that the few believe they must have power and control over the masses, over others.

To be honest there is so much chaos, half truths, lies and deceit that I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. So, I keep to what I know and that is me. I am in charge of controlling me and only me. I also leave it to others to do the same. If someone comes to me about an issue I will listen to them. If I know anything about the issue I will offer suggestions. If I know nothing about the issue, I will suggest ways to find the answer or refer them to someone that I know may know. What I will not do is take it from them and try to control or fix it. It will not serve them well and that is not my place. My place is of a supportive nature and I will stay in my lane. It is what is best for them and me. This in turn keeps things simple and basic in my life, just how I like it. Have a great week and remember to Keep it Simple (KiS)