Love Part V: Self Love

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This and the next several blogs of my Love Series will focus on by far one of the most important loves available to all of us. It is the love of oneself. Yes, having love for ourselves is the beginning of a truly lovable story.

The capacity in which we love ourselves matches that of the love we share with others.

The love for ourselves is what we know and we can only truly share what we know. What I am getting at is, the love we have for ourselves is the amount of love we have for others, because that is what we know. This is precisely why we need to fall in love with ourselves. Live and laugh each day, forgive ourselves, learn from our mistakes, Go With The Flow, experience, have faith and grow.

Now while there is a fine line between Ego and Egotistical or Egoism, you can love yourself without crossing that fine line, by simply by exercising P.E.A.C.E. (Patience, Empathy, Acceptance, Caring, Equality) with ourselves. I educate all over North America about the importance of healthy relationships, with a specific focus on teens and young adults. Although, I do invite adults and parents to learn the P.E.A.C.E. concept as well. If for no other reason use it as a tool to connect themselves with their child or the teen in their life and/or become a trusted adult.  

Now let’s look at how we can exercise each element of P.E.A.C.E. for ourselves starting with Patience. I can only really speak for myself, and I must admit, I am working on being more patient with myself. Patience is about me deciding if I want to do something or be part of a relationship.  I have found this requires me to slow down and take a breath every now and then. Organize and sort things out in my time.

I am so guilty of constantly being in motion and trying to get things done as soon as possible, so I can move onto the next thing. I used to think, there is so much to be done and so little time to do it in. I used to race around gotta do this, gotta do that, now, right now. That is partially because I thought I had to do it all myself. The other thing is I was always trying to be perfect or make things perfect. That is in part, why I would try to do it myself.  You know the old adage, if you want it done right you need to do it yourself. These two things alone are most definitely a recipe for disaster and disappointment. I do know this to be true.

Now I know I cannot do anything about those misconceptions and the fact that I once bought into them, but I can choose to change my thought process. Such as:

• Not everything needs to be done right now right now.
• It is okay to take time to rest and relax.
• I will get there when I get there – safety takes priority.
• Someone else’s priority does not have to be mine.
• Ask for or let others help.
• I get to decide what to do and when.
• I can make the time to do whatever it is I want to do.
• Perfect should never be anything more than an expression of greatness or approval.
• Instead of ‘if you want it done right do it yourself’ I choose to change that statement to, ‘if you want it done a certain way, you need to do it yourself.’
• Above all I get to decide what is best for me and that does not make me selfish, it makes me happy, gives me inner peace and my true sense of power and control.

Making these adjustments in my thought process, helps me exercise patience with myself. To some this may seem elementary, but I know there are some out there who know where I am coming from. For those that can relate, I encourage you to find your inner peace and let it guide you to Love for yourself. Think long and hard about what truly brings you peace and makes you happy. Look inside and see your goodness. Don’t worry about what others see, see you for who you truly are. Now write it down. Consider journaling about it daily or as often as you like. Another idea is to recite a positive affirmation daily. I tell myself daily, “I am worthy of all good things and grateful when they come to me and I deserve to be loved, happy, healthy and wealthy.”  Law of Attraction, Baby!

Next blog we will look at empathizing with ourselves. If we do it for others, why not empathize with ourselves? Have wonderful week and remember to Keep it Simple (KiS).